Episode 277: Erica Komisar
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Resilience Begins at Birth
Mental health disorders have become an epidemic in today's society. Yet, we often fail to recognize the critical impact of early childhood adversity and our relationships with our parents, especially our mothers, on the mental and physical health of adolescents.
Erica Komisar is a psychoanalyst and also a contributor, contributing editor at the Institute for Family Studies, journalist, and author. Her recent book “Chicken Little the Sky Isn't Falling: Raising Resilient Adolescents in the New Age of Anxiety” explores how to raise emotionally healthy, resilient adolescents in a time of great stress.
Erica and Greg discuss how the cultural emphasis, especially in the West, on individual success outside of the home often results in a reluctance to make necessary sacrifices in raising children and why dedicating time to establish a strong emotional foundation for the future generation is a significant and fulfilling responsibility for every parent.
*unSILOed Podcast is produced by University FM.*
Episode Quotes:
What is attachment theory?
14:52: Emotional security, meaning trusting that your primary attachment object is there for you from moment to moment to help you with what we call "regulate" your emotions, keeping them from going too high or too low and helping you through distress, provides you with the kind of security that says, "The world is a safe place. I can deal with the adversity that comes my way." That is attachment theory.
Raising a child requires sacrifice
08:19: Having children is the easy part; caring for them requires sacrifice. And we cannot raise healthy children if we're not willing to sacrifice.
Humans and denial
02:17: As human beings, we have a great deal of denial. It helps us get along, function, forget, avoid painful feelings, and avoid responsibility. So, denial is one of the most powerful human defenses. And that's not an accusation. That's just as a psychoanalyst. That is just a fact.
Self-awareness is the cornerstone of mental health
03:38: Self-awareness is the cornerstone of mental and physical health. If we're not aware that we're doing harm to ourselves, we end up sick. If we're not aware we're doing harm to our children, they end up sick.
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