Episode 687: Nicholas Epley
September 24th, 2026
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The Key to a Happier Life Starts With Social Connection
Social connection is essential for humans, yet we live in a world that is increasingly designed to limit our in-person social interactions. So why, if being social makes us happier, do we willfully avoid it more and more?
Nicholas Epley is the John Templeton Keller Distinguished Service Professor of Behavioral Science and Director of the Roman Family Center for Decision Research at the University of Chicago Booth School of Business. His new book, A Little More Social, explores how the little choices we make can dramatically shape our connections.
Nicholas and Greg discuss the science behind why being social makes us happy and why people systematically underestimate how much they’ll enjoy having deeper conversations, expressing gratitude, or talking to strangers. They also discuss how personality traits like extroversion and introversion can be viewed as beliefs or habits, and why these labels can hold people back.
unSILOed Podcast is produced by University FM.
Episode Quotes:
Connection starts with invitation
38:30: When you say hi to somebody on a train or, you know, I try to have a meaningful conversation with somebody, I'm not demanding things from them. I'm testing a belief, I'm essentially offering an invitation to them. And somebody can be interested in talking with me or not. Somebody could be willing to go there in a deeper conversation or not. But if I don't give them the invitation, they're not going to come. So that's the way I would think about that from the person who's reaching out from us in our daily lives. Think of yourself as inviting connection, and you can be more welcoming in that regard. And I think if you start doing that, you start inviting more interaction, you'll find you have a lot more of it in your life, and you'll find that other people are just as happy to be connected to as you are.
Social connection is a choice
04:06: Social connection doesn't just happen to us, it's a choice. And it's a choice you make over and over again every hour, two hours, three hours of your life when you choose to avoid other people or connect with them in lots of ways. And that, as a decision-making researcher, that occurs to you is, it's possible we're making a mistake here.
The connections we don't make
03:38: We have kind thoughts that we keep to ourselves, gratitude we don't express. We keep honest thoughts to ourselves. Just over and over again, opportunities to really connect with other people we seem not to take.
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